Between April 25, 2017 and December of that year, we finally had confirmation of Avner’s diagnosis but very little insight and no effective treatment. I wrote a series of haiku style poems which captured my mood at that time. Here is the first.
It occured to me, that maybe we have been reading this story of the binding of Isaac all wrong. It’s not a test of Abraham’s will, or devotion or even his ultimate morality. It’s not a test at all. Through Abraham’s eyes it’s a journey of the father who faces an impossible task regarding a child he loves. Abraham has no choice in the matter. His only option is to move forward through the horror ahead.
Avner would become mute and disconnected from everything else around him. On one occasion, he left the Scout House to sit on a bench outside. When our Scoutmaster, Crill and I tried to speak to him, he refused to acknowledge us. I tried to get him into my car at the end of the meeting. Instead, he got up and started walking towards home, only a mile away. I called Barbara from the Scout House to let her know that Avner was walking home. He walked past her which worried us both, but eventually turned around and came inside.
My apologies for the recent hiatus in my writing. I had to gather my thoughts about the next part of our family’s story. It both drains me emotionally to revisit some of our darker days and I think it’s important to cover the details of this period as accurately as I can. As a memoir, I understand that much of what I share is my own subjective account of our